THE SCIENCE OF HEARING--THE ART OF LISTENING
By Andrea B. Edwards, CustomerCentric Systems, LLC

When we were younger, mom would tell us that we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should listen more often than we talk. And, it's been said that salespeople have two modes of communication: talking and waiting to talk, using our mouths much more often than our ears!

Many, many books and articles have been written about the art of listening. Only, what's the real difference between listening and hearing? And, why should we care?

According to Webster's dictionary, to hear is defined as to perceive or apprehend by the ear or to gain knowledge of by hearing.

Webster's also defines to listen as to pay attention to sound or to hear something with thoughtful attention.

In his best seller, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey goes into great detail in explaining the power of paying attention to the sound (listening). He takes that one step further by defining and exploring empathic listening. Don't confuse empathy with sympathy. Sympathy is a form of agreement, a form of judgment. Empathy is an attempt to understand another person's frame of reference, to see things from your prospect's of view.

Where this becomes important is in our selling skills. Hearing a prospect is way different than listening to a prospect. Further, by being empathic in your listening you can gain much more insight as to your prospect's their business goals, what's stopping her from achieving her goals and how your product/service can help. So, empathic listening means that you are listening to what your prospect is saying, without adding your personal experience to what you hear or how you listen. The power is to assure your prospect that you understand their business issue and can help. Think about this skill as a powerful way to differentiate yourself by how you sell, not just what you sell.

Recently, I facilitated a half-day sales boot camp. One of the attendees was heading to a meeting that afternoon to demo his product and came to the boot camp to glean as much as possible, so that he'd be fully prepared to "close" at his afternoon meeting. During the seminar, he seemed keenly interested in the communication aspect of selling, particularly the listening part. As the seminar concluded, he commented to me that I'd given him much to think about and that he was going to radically change his approach to the afternoon's meeting.

The next day, I received an email from him, giving me great detail about the "demo" with his prospect. Based on what he'd learned at the boot camp, he determined that doing a "demo" without understanding what his prospect's issues were was prescribing without first diagnosing. Rather than "show up and throw up" - that is, demo in the conventional way, he decided to spend most of his allotted time exploring his prospect's goals/needs and what were the obstacles to achieving that goal. He told me that he listened with great attention, and using empathic listening, was able to better understand his prospect's issues. This participant was then able to tailor his "demo" specifically to those issues, and what his company could provide. I'm pleased to say that he was ultimately able to close this business.

Practically speaking, it's so easy for us to hurry the listening process (falling into the trap of hearing the client….pretending…"uh-huh." "Oh, sure." "Right."). For the most part, we've heard most of those goals and issues in our selling experience. We're waiting for the prospect to finish answering the open question we've just asked, so that we may present our "solution." Remember, talking or waiting to talk?

In fact, a number of years ago, The Huthwaite Group did a study, regarding the efficiency of listening, over time. Results? In their first 18 months, new sales reps asked many questions of their prospects and really listened to the answers. Sales reps' revenue increased accordingly. Surprisingly, beginning in the 19th month, their income started dropping in direct proportion to the number of questions they asked and the answers they listened to…again, pointing out the difference between listening and hearing. Since they felt they'd already heard all the questions/problems/issues (pretending to listen), they stopped hearing their prospects and began talking more than they listened.

Here are some practical, immediately usable ideas:

• When you ask an "open" question (one that cannot be answered with a "yes" or "no"), be prepared to listen to the answer without hearing your own voice interpret what your prospect is saying. In that way, you'll be able to understand the issue from his point of view, on your way to empathic listening.
• Remember, understanding does not mean agreement. Just because you understand something from his point of view doesn't mean you agree; just that you can now see it from someone else's perception. This goes to the adage that Perception is Reality - and right now, the perception that counts is the prospect's!
• When it's appropriate, repeat what the prospect has told you, so that you can confirm your understanding of his issue. "Let me make sure I've heard you correctly, Ms. Prospect….." By proving you understand their issue from their point of view (their perception is their reality), you'll make great strides in empathic listening.

Happy listening!

Edwards Associates specializes in helping clients achieve their financial and business goals by providing sales training, sales coaching and executive consulting. With 23 years in the business world, 17 of them in the high tech market, Edwards Associates can quickly assess, analyze and suggest alternative approaches to winning business and creating successes. Andrea may be reached at 626-797-4519 or aedwards@CustomerCentricSystems.com.

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